Dear Diary Edition: Mother's Day

        

    

                           

Where do I start? This weekend has been very rough for me and my siblings for several different reasons, the main reason being our mother wasn't with us during this very special weekend. It has been six months since she passed away and it feels like it was just yesterday that I watched her take her last breath as her sould drifted off to Paradise. On saturday my younger sister graduated Cum Laude from WCU and there were many cheers and many smiles but still a deep sadness wishing our mother was around to see her babygirl graduate. Last year on this day we were out eating with my mother rocking her cute red dress and this year she is at PEACE up in the sky with her God. I am very, very, very thankful my mother always let us know how much she loved and cared about us, no matter what was going on she made sure we knew that if nothing else. I took a stance from a very young age becoming a "mommys girl" and even through all the negative times she was my homie, my bestfriend and I am so very thankful for God allowing me to connect with her and learn many things that allowed me to handle grown-up things in the right way as a child Ultimately helping me be so strong as an adult.

To my mother, Mommy, I love and miss you more than I will ever be able to put fully into words. My heart is so hurt without you, I think about you all the time. . .thank you for everything, you really were my angel on earth and now you are my angel up high.

Happy Mother's Day, I Love You!

                                    Rest In Paradise!

         

             

I pray others have the opportunity to have some kind of relationship with their mother becuse it is a very important aspect in life. A mother's love is beyond any love that any person could give someone, it is a connection that is a beautiful gift that should be recognized as such. Everyone doesn't have that kind of relationship in which I shared with my mother but if your mother is still alive I encourage you to cherish that relationship as much as you can. For those that do not have a good relationship with their mother I pray you find a way to be encouraged to make that connection

I wish all the mothers and mothers-to-be a Happy Mother's Day! Enjoy this day you deserve it!

Thanks for reading!

*kisses

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TRUST

Trust - (n.) reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing; confidence.
—Synonyms
1. certainty, belief, faith. Trust, assurance, confidence  imply a feeling of security. Trust  implies instinctive unquestioning belief in and reliance upon something: to have trust in one's parents. Confidence  implies conscious trust because of good reasons, definite evidence, or past experience: to have confidence in the outcome of events. Assurance  implies absolute confidence and certainty: to feel an assurance of victory. 8. commitment, commission. 17. credit. 19.  entrust.
via - Definition(s) of the word trust

So many people want it some thrive for it and some could care less. Ever since I can remember it's always been " i dont trust anyone " but if you really look at everyday life you will see we trust easily and although it may be something minute it is still trust. Think about something as simple as approaching a door that is being held open by someone you may or may not know. You have a few options walk through the door , dont walk through the door or let the person holding it walk through first. Now this may seem silly but trusting is that simple. There is no telling if the person holding the door is plotting to do something but the decision to walk through the door is up to you. They could trip you, let the door hit you, let you walk through the door or anything you could imagine. I know you may be thinking " that doesnt mean i trust them " but it does .
The phrase about it being hard to trust is true, however, I feel keeping trust is much harder . Once you trust someone you expect certain things from them and possibly believe they would never do you wrong.
Something as simple as walking through a door can show we all trust we just don't realize how easy we do so. Even when walking through the door you may not be thinking you trust that person but subconciously you are . . .trusting. Trust is trust no matter what level . The level determines how much is " allowed " or " tolerable " in some instances . You dont have to know someone to trust them just allowing them to do anything for/to you shows trust.
Don't be bitter because your trust was violated.
Forgive & move on as the worst thing to do is carry a grudge. A grudge only inhibits happiness. Everyone isn't meant to be in your life nor are they capable of doing so . . .
Now in an *obvious tone* there are people that dont trust and still deal with someone but that topic is for a different blog .
What is my purpose for writing this blog?
Nothing, I just love to write and people listen :-)
I could elaborate more on this subject however at this point in time - short is enough .

Thanks for reading !

* kisses

Comments/feedback/topic suggestions always appreciated!
or email me at: peaches.monae@gmail.com

Perfectly Imperfect

Most of the time when you ask someone what being in love is more than not they will verbally paint a picture that appears to be “perfect.” A lot think it’s always “peaches & cream’’ or “flawless” but the thing that is overlooked is that no one is perfect. Love doesn't have flaws, we have flaws. We’re humans with flaws so how is it that so many people think being in love is perfect? I feel being in love is every emotion you could imagine yet intensified. You become so emotionally open so your significant other sees all of you yet you spend time trying to prove all you want is them. . .catch 22 :)
There is no perfection in love only flaws embraced without care, for who would we be if perfection existed? It’s a fantasy, there will be pain & tears, smiles & happiness – we are imperfect. Instead of trying to obtain a love that doesn’t exist, keep the idea of perfect love alive by loving in a perfectly imperfect manner. This means do all the things that are in those love stories just know one isn’t guaranteed a happy ending (no pun intended ). As an example, love your other half for who they are, embrace it and do all you can to reach that “happy ending” & maybe that’s dying next to your husband/wife after years of love, tears, happiness, wild moments & all the other natural things life brings. Perfectly imperfect.

Thanks for reading !!

* kisses

04.11.11

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or email me at: peaches.monae@gmail.com

Short Story Part 2

 If you haven't read part one click here -> Part One


Part Two


“Saieda” he says as he walks toward me. He uses his hands to guide my body off the edge of the bed. He pulls me close enough, that he could kiss easily and with one hand on my face and the other gripping my ass. I can’t resist letting a soft mmm out as my heart races. I snapback folding my arms. Chills have taken over my body but I can’t let his touch weaken me. “Yes” I say as if nothing just almost happened. “Let’s forget everything for a little. I missed you girl, I want you so bad, don’t fight me” he says in his ‘bedroom voice’ as I like to call it. “I want you too Slim but I think its better to -“ in mid-sentence my doorbell rings several times followed by several heavy knocks. “I think it’s better to keep any physical stuff out the picture between us. I’ll be right back; I need to see who is at my door.” Whoever is at my door better have a good reason for coming to my crib. “Aiight hurry up Sai we need to talk, I have something important to tell you. I’ll meet you in the shower.” There it is, now I know he isn’t gonna stop until I give in. “Shower? So you think we are going to talk in the shower huh? You are something else boy.” I laugh and walk out the room slow and sexy making sure he sees that I’ve been doing squats. I damn near fall down the stairs trying to hurry up as the doorbell kept ringing. When I get to the door it’s my homegirl Leena and she has Nia with her. Now I don’t know Nia all that well but I’ve been out with her before and she’s cool people. We met her a few weeks ago at our cousin’s cookout and she parties with us now. Leena and I have known each other since birth. Our mom’s grew up together and live in the same neighborhood and just so happened to go into labor on the same day, now that’s ironic. “Loopy Lee are you ok?” I say lookin’ her up and down like she’s crazy. “I’m fine girl what are you talkin’ about?” she replies as she pushes past me. “Hey Nia. Don’t mind her she’s a little throwed off and it only shows when she’s around me.” Leena walks all around the house and then peers upstairs. This could end up being a really bad situation if she and Slim run into each other. We are sisters from another so it’s like that with us you know what I’m sayin’. “Crazy lady can you come here please, I hate to do this to you but I have company. I will call you later.” I say while making the ‘be quiet face.’ As soon as I say that, Nia rushes into the house and looks around. I knew she was a little dippy but now she is being stupid. “Nia is today backwards day? I said I have company, you’re supposed to be walking that way.” I say while pointing outside towards Leena. She walks outside and they say they’re going to the bar up the street and I swear I will meet them in a half hour. I go into the kitchen and sit down contemplating. After about ten minutes of thinking I head back to Slim. As I start walking upstairs I hear Slim talking “I don’t know, yea, nah it’s more if…yea but I can’t make her…I feel you. I will hit you up later. Peace.” When he turns around he sees me standing in the doorway and walks over to me looking down. “I gotta go Sai, no shower talk this time but I might be back.” After all this time we haven’t talked and how he was before I went to answer the door I need to understand why he would choose to leave before we discuss the issue at hand. “We really need to talk and you know that, I explained how important this conversation is and that it will determine if I want to give you another chance. Please tell me it’s super important for you to leave because if not you might as well not come back or contact me. I’m not joking either Slim.” I say powerfully. “Yea it’s super important.” At this point he’s already down the stairs at the front door and he looks up at me and smiles. That smile means don’t be mad and I’m not mad because I meant what I said about making him null and void in my life if I don’t get the answers I need. His phone rings “Malina I said I was gonna call you back in a few. Ok ok can you hold on for a minute.” His boss called at the wrong time. “If I am suppose to trust you and trust that you aren’t going to do me any more dirty than you have now, I suggest you say more then you have to leave.” He looks at the phone and then looks outside and says “Instead of me leaving to do what I gotta do I’m gonna run to the store and then I’ll come back here” then he closes the door. Unbelievable! I go into the living room and lay down on my couch after turning on some music. After a half hour nap I see no call or text from Slim. I realize I should be at the bar so I run upstairs to get in the shower. As I step into the shower my phone rings and it’s Leena. “Hey Lee I know I’m late I will be there in a half hour.” I admit before she gets to yellin’ about it “That’s not why I’m calling. Nia is not who I thought she was girl she is crazy! As soon as we got in the car she told me drop her off on MacDade down by Jukes house.” There was silence for about fifteen seconds and it made me snap out of the trance I was in “what’s up Lee, why’d you stop talking?” I say worried “Slim pulled up with Malina and Nia got into the car, they just drove off. . .”

Thanks for reading!

* kisses

Comments/feedback/topic suggestions always appreciated!
or email me at: peaches.monae@gmail.com.
Some comments may be used in future posts. If you do not want your name to be used please let me know.

Short Story - Part 1

“We’ve been together for THREE years, I think we can get rid of this” Slim says grabbing the condom out of my hand.  “You know it will feel so much better and you’re on birth control” he says with a smirk. The birth control joke made me crack a grin because he knows I’m not on birth control. He says things like that because he wants me to be the mother of his children but ever since he cheated and got another woman pregnant I’m not quite sure I even want to have sex with him. It’s only been two months since Slim’s “mishap” (as he calls it) and he only told me because he is going to be a father and I’ll be damned if he is going to sit here and tell ME it’ll feel better especially LIKE I KNOW! He is my one and only, I have no idea how it feels to have sex with someone else. “Say something Sai” he says as I sit on the edge of the bed and take a deep breath. “Slim why must we continue to have this conversation? Your birth control joke isn’t that funny even if I did grin” I say this with a smile and from the look on his face he thinks he won, he can think that all he wants! This is not a game but it’s hard for me to hold back laughter when it comes to him, he knows what to say to make me smile. “I feel like I need to be on birth control along with other things messing around with your trifling ass.”  Let me stop and explain a few things. Slim and I met in middle school and yes we are “high school sweethearts”, anyway, we didn’t start dating until the 11^th grade but we fell in love and took off from there. We talked about marriage and a family but something changed in this third year and I still don’t know what made him cheat. “Listen slim, I’m not in the mood for this game of you trying to “butter” me up. You are taking advantage of the fact that I am still with you after that bullshit you pulled. “ In my mind I want him to go jump off something high and not to die for all you crazy minded folk but to hurt himself really bad. I want him to hurt as bad as I do and I know he never will, well at least not with me. I would NEVER cheat on him and I don’t care what I am feeling, I know I will do anything in my power to avoid situations that could lead to something inappropriate. He is my heart and you can’t breathe without your heart, right?

part 2 coming soon !

Thank for reading !

* kisses

Commens/feedback/topic suggestions always appreciated! You can post on here with your name or anonymously or email me at: peaches.monae@gmail.com.

Some comments may be used in future posts. If you do not want your name to be used please let me know.